I Finally Wrote (You) A Love Poem — Poem Project 2

You tasted like root beer;
fear resting on the tongue
like a wildcat crouching low down
to pounce upon its hunt:
your mouth on mine each month,
the perfect way to waste a year.

I remember lying beside you in cold grass
under the constellations of yet another winter;
splinters of trust; a hunting ground
of a bedroom; a snarl caught in my throat
where once I would have purred for you.

Untamed passion roared through us,
my claws caressing your face
into bloodied flesh; my gift
for  a  kitten of a  lover.

And what had you ever meant?
Prowling nights soon forgotten,
like the promises you once swore to me.

I felt nothing anymore:
Not even a whisker of love.

When I left, you hissed my name.

Two Rings

I don’t expect you to understand.

I don’t want you to understand.

I want you to sit in the shadows
Of whatever corner you lurk from nowadays
And I want you to think
Of everything you could’ve done differently
But didn’t.

I want you to see my happiness.
I want you to watch me from afar
While I laugh and climb and dance and love
And enjoy my life
Without
You.

I want you to hurt
Knowing
That you never gave me
The love
That another now gives me.

Yes.
I want you to hurt.

And
When the pain is finally through with you,
When you can’t take the flames any more
And you’re left gasping for the end….

I want you to hurt even more.

A Beginning, Once and For Always

Is it true what they say
that the hardest part of ending
is starting again?
Once, I might have believed them.
I thought the end was just so,
that everything would fade.

But I know now
why he didn’t like the song:
the one I loved,
that had music hauntingly soft,
that had emotions and a quick temper,
that had reduced him to tears.

For you see, he had kept
many things to himself
never thinking to bring me,
to whom he claimed love,
into that world.
He chose solitude;
I chose destruction.

But now I understand.
I understand why
that song was stuck in his mind
in a way so different from me….
I know only
because of you.

You, who protected me in ways
he never tried;
who held my hand
when yours was shaking;
who was there even before and through and despite
the end.

You, who invited me into that world,
showed me what I had never known,
and cradled me as I understood
why the music was what it was.

It was pain, death, suffering
but brought about life, hope.
It was more than the most beautiful ending,
and only you held me as I watched
and cried
and began again.

-SJ-

October 25, 2014 – Kent Falls and a Ring

You were the one,
my heart whispered.

I knew it was right
because
I wanted to write you
any and every love song,
but couldn’t say enough about you.

I had written countless poems
about love and loss and happiness.

I thought I had known
what I was writing about.

But the words felt so empty
compared to what I felt
whenever I tried to tell you
that you were my
always.

And they failed me
like they never have
in that
perfect moment
when all that existed was

you and I.

The Final Season

I could hardly wait for summer;
Spring left you in its wake:
The lies, deceit, and fighting nights
I could no longer take.

Our bedroom was a war zone, then;
My words were claws of steel;
You hissed and cursed me for your love:
False love I would not feel.

I lounged and laughed and wondered
What ever I had seen
In you, in us, to make me live
In a world of spoiled dreams.

And so, though blind with pois’nous rage,
I pried you from my mind
And made my way ahead, alone,
And left you far behind.

Lunar New Year Celebration at McMahon Residence Hall

UConn’s Global House hosted a Lunar New Year celebration at McMahon Residence Hall on Thursday, February 6 to celebrate 2014 as the Year of the Horse.

The celebration began at 7:30 p.m., and there was food, create-your-own calligraphy and, if you were lucky enough to be at the Learning Community Lounge at 8 p.m., a Traditional Lion Dance accompanied by drums performed by Hong Tinh Duong Kung Fu & Lion Dance.

The procession began in the Learning Community Lounge, then continued into the hallway between the North and South Towers of McMahon.

From there, the drums, lions and dancers made their way down the stairs and into the dining hall, much to the surprise of the people eating there.

The red, blue and yellow lions danced their way around McMahon dining hall for ten to fifteen minutes before the performance ended to rounds of applause.

After their dance was over, the lions danced back up the stairs to the Learning Community Lounge, where they posed with celebration attendees and excited bystanders.

Traditional Lion Dance Performed in McMahon Residence Hall to Celebrate the Lunar New Year

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Christmas, Love, and my Dragon Heart

So I won’t get to see Evan for Christmas, but I got to spend an amazing weekend at his house. And, while he loved what I got him, I don’t think his excitement came anywhere close to my absolute joy upon receiving this beautiful piece:

image

It’s called “Dragon Heart”, and it’s supposed to be symbolic of everlasting love. Evan knows how much I love dragons, and he wanted to get me a sparklier necklace than the other dragon one he got me, so I guess this is the gift that he kept excitedly hinting about.

So far I have only taken it off to sleep and shower. And shall continue to do so.

I just absolutely love this necklace so much, and I know that it’ll be a good comfort to me until he returns from Maryland and I get to see him again.

Merry Christmas, my love. I can’t wait to see you in a few days ❤ I love you more than this world

No Lifeguard On Duty — Poem Project 3

The water had always been too deep.

Bystanders foam on the shore:
people simply enjoying their lives
knowing, noticing nothing.

Reaching out a clammy hand,
ears shiver, body roars;
darkness swells in every wave,
every nightmare, every depth.

The water’s embrace is numbing: raw flesh
greeting sea.

The spinning tides and words
break against my brain, breaking
once, twice, a billion times.

The water swallows my whisper, bubbling.

And who could have rescued
what was already lost? Not
you, though we crash together;
not me, not me.

Prey — Poem Project 5

Hunt me down
through deaf space.
Let me feel
your hollow eyes
honing in on
the hum of
my haggard breaths.

Let your robe
flow behind you
like the cowl
of a majestic
prince of dark;
my nocturnal monarch.

Dance with me
in night air,
making your wind
whisper a dirge
through my feathers.

Then pursue me,
a flighty partner
for beating claws
and sharp wings.
Consume me: with
your beak, your
talons, your shriek.

Then silence.

Prize

I never knew
that I could be told
what I am not.

You told me once
upon the discovery,
and somewhat shamefully,
that my words, my self, my soul,
my poetry
was not enough.

And it was left at that.